宋小宝：哈哈哈 哈哈哈 哈哈哈，我想死你们了、诶呀，这过年回家回的晚，赶上29了，饿了，找家面馆吃口面，我记着这家原来叫大城子面馆，现在改名叫海参面馆，升级了，自动升级，提高档次了，可能挣着钱了，进去看看，服务员。
服务员：欢迎光临!哥，点点啥?
宋：冷冬数九的不着急点菜，先暖和暖和，有茶水不?
服：有茶水
宋：免费不?
服：免费
宋：两壶龙井
服：没有
宋：毛尖也行
服：有毛豆
宋：泡毛豆喝呀!菜系什么菜系?
服：面条细，抻的可细了
宋：你说你这孩子，你说我没吃饱先让你给气饱了，特色是什么?
服：海参炒面
宋：海参是正经海参不?
服：海参是海参，正不正经我不知道
宋：诶呀，这孩子，海参正不正经，我也不知道，不闹了，不闹了，海参炒面一碗!
服：好勒!
宋：你们这咸菜免费不?
服: 咸菜五元一盘
宋：不收费的有什么东西?
服：小作料
宋：花生酱油醋，是不是?
服：辣根不收费!
宋：来一管
服：哪有吃面放辣根的呀?
厨：好，海参炒面一盘，来，先生慢用啊!
宋：你先等会，吃面放辣根是一种新的时尚，我要引领!等会儿，什么炒面?
厨：海参炒面!
宋：玩呢呀?
厨：咋的了?
宋：海参呢?在哪呢?海参在哪呢?炒丢了?巴拉出锅了?让你造了?海参炒面，给我一个完美的解释!
厨：解释啥呀?我叫海参，面是我炒的，完美不?
宋：特别完美!菜单拿我看看?吓唬谁呢?在哪呢?我可以选择不吃不?
厨：不行，本店有规定，点了不能退，
服：对
宋：不能退，能换不?
厨：那行
宋：太干，换碗带汤的!
厨：好，炒面换汤面，走你!
宋：辣根准备好没?
服：有
厨：换汤面了!
宋：来点水，花茶呀?花茶你就倒满呗，咋那么抠呢?
厨：来，汤面来了!
服：辣根!
宋：咋那么抠呢?哪就都挤里面去呗!就得意这口，你不知道，看啥呀?
厨：头一回建这么吃的!我学学!
宋：哎，你姓海呀?你叫海参?你是不是有个老妹叫海带?
服：你咋知道我名呢?
厨：我妹妹
宋：你爸爸是不是叫海蛎子?
厨：顶着了吧?来吧，来个蒜
英文翻译对照，仅供参考
Song Xiaobao: Hahahahahahahahaha, I thought you dead, hey ah, this spends the New Year come home the evening that return, catch up with 29, hungry, noodle shop seeking the home takes buccal side, I am writing down this to called Dachengzi noodle shop before, incognito now call holothurian noodle shop, upgraded, upgrade automatically, increase class, the likelihood is making money, go in look, clerk.
Clerk: Welcome aboard! Elder brother, does the dot nod what?
The Song Dynasty: Of cold winter the nine periods following the winter solstice not anxious order dishes, warm gentle is mixed first, is there boiled water not?
Take: Have boiled water
The Song Dynasty: Free not?
Take: Free
The Song Dynasty: Two crock Dragon Well tea
Take: Without
The Song Dynasty: Mao Jian also goes
Take: Have young soya bean
The Song Dynasty: Bubble young soya bean is drunk! What dish department is dish?
Take: Noodle is fine, of pull out but fine
The Song Dynasty: You say your this child, you say I am done not have satiate let you give energy of life first full, what is characteristic?
Take: Holothurian chow mien
The Song Dynasty: Holothurian be honest and holothurian not?
Take: Holothurian it is holothurian, knowing via me
The Song Dynasty: Hey, this child, holothurian classics, I also do not know, not was troubled by, not was troubled by, holothurian chow mien a bowl!
Take: Good strap!
The Song Dynasty: You is this pickles free not?
Take: Pickles 5 yuan a dish
The Song Dynasty: Do not collect fees what thing is there?
Take: Small condiments
The Song Dynasty: Earthnut soy vinegar, ?
Take: Horseradish does not collect fees!
The Song Dynasty: Will be in charge of
Take: Which have those who eat a face to put horseradish?
Hutch: Good, holothurian chow mien a dish, come, the gentleman is used slow!
The Song Dynasty: You wait first meeting, eating a face to put horseradish is a kind of new style, I want to lead! Wait meeting, what chow mien?
Hutch: Holothurian chow mien!
The Song Dynasty: Play ah?
Hutch: How?
The Song Dynasty: Holothurian? Which? Holothurian which? Fry lost? Cling to pull a boiler? Let you build? Holothurian chow mien, give me an ideal explanation!
Hutch: Explain what? I cry holothurian, I fry the face, perfect not?
The Song Dynasty: Particularly perfect! Does menu take me to look? Gally who? Which? Can I choose not to eat not?
Hutch: Be no good, this inn has a regulation, nodded cannot retreat,
Take: Yes
The Song Dynasty: Cannot retreat, can you change not?
Hutch: That
The Song Dynasty: Too dry, of soup of the belt that change a bowl!
Hutch: Good, chow mien changes noodles in soup, go you!
The Song Dynasty: Does horseradish get ready not?
Take: Have
Hutch: Change noodles in soup!
The Song Dynasty: Will choose water, scented tea? Scented tea you are full, how so Where is dig or dig out with a finger or sth pointed?
Hutch: Come, noodles in soup came!
Take: Horseradish!
The Song Dynasty: How so Where is dig or dig out with a finger or sth pointed? Which are squeezed inside go! Complacent this, you do not know, see what?
Hutch: Head bout is built so eat! I learn!
The Song Dynasty: Hey, do you surname the sea? Do you cry holothurian? Do you have an old younger sister to call kelp?
Take: Do you know my name how?
Hutch: My little sister
The Song Dynasty: Does your father call the sea Li child?
Hutch: Was the top worn? Come, come a garlic
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