At the age of 17, he was just in the prime of his life. Is it my youth, stained with your world?
Please tell me, how can I love you? With the ripening of the fruit, the color of the flower petals fades; as I grow older, you gradually lose your color. You witness my growth, but I can only witness your aging. Every time I think about it, I feel a pain in my heart. We, from the beginning is unfair, as if doomed to a tragic ending. How can I love you so that I can comfort you a little bit and approach justice a little bit?
Please tell me, how can I make you satisfied? Seventeen year old and forty-seven year old age collide, and the sparks fall on the haystack of puberty and menopause respectively, and ignite at one point. I try my best to be nice to you and to make you laugh, but I often have willful passion, which paves a way for a tragic ending. How can I do it so that you don‘t have to lock your brows and ramble about trifles?
Please tell me, will you be proud of me? I was the first one in the exam, and I was also the one who failed: sometimes it was me who faced difficulties, and sometimes I pretended to be a deserter. I was busy playing myself, but I never turned around to ask you whether it was right to do so. When you see me weak and decadent, it must be heartache and dark hate it, I know you endure the torture of ordinary life, I know that in the torture, you have not given up on me. How can I grow so that I don’t deviate from what you expect of me?
Mom, when love has become a foreword, what really makes me flustered is how I should do it. Such deep love is destined to bring such deep entanglement. How can I be satisfied with the charity of years? I hope I can give you half of my youth. I hope I can smear your white hair with my hands. I hope that you can be proud of every moment. But, these, I can‘t do.
I witnessed myself blooming like a flower, and imagined that you must be so brilliant. Whose seventeen is different? Just because we are mother and daughter, we are closer to seventeen. Your expression and behavior in my eyes has become my habit. Your world outlook affects my value judgment. How can I not tell you that many colors in my youth come from your youth rainbow? This is a happy point. Maybe my youth is destined to be infected with your world.
Xu Zhimo said that if I have not worried about your worries and your worries, I am not worthy to say that I love you. It’s not just for lovers, it‘s the same for you and me. Because I love you in my own way, mom, so I am willing to learn more from you in my youth. Because I love you in my own way, mom, so I don’t want to mention “start with small things and care for Mom”. It‘s easy to do small things for a day, but I know that our tacit understanding doesn’t need such a cardiotonic.
You have known me for a long time. When you casually glimpsed me writing this mother‘s day composition, you joked and said, “good, good.” A laugh earned from ordinary life is your only response to the way I love you. “My article, of course, is very good.” I said with a smile.
That’s it. It‘s too late to be content. What’s your regret?
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